Not even about you, there is a world out there in which crazy people do crazy shit and one of them is googling stuff. For example, if you googled this, it wouldn’t necessarily make you crazy. But if you googled  “am i crazy? and this came up. Wow, yes that would be outlandish.

This is not necessarily about you. It’s about other people that are crazy. The ones who are constantly on the internet googling stuff. It’s like their best friend is a computer. So weird.

What’s weirder is I know a lot of people who are friends with Google itself.  They actually say “Hello Google” and then ask it questions. You could too. It would listen.

You could find out about aliens, and if you were an alien yourself, you could use Google to learn how to blend in, and act like the rest of us. You could find educational videos on how to light your farts on fire, how to change a carburetor or how to give a blow job.

“You could Google and educational videos on how to light your farts on fire, how to change a carburetor and how to give a blow job.”

But if you’re human probably you googled this certain porn site or that seminar on Post-Industrial Feminist Meta Theory. Maybe you googled how to do your make-up or how to get to McDonald’s.

If you were the most crazy of all people you might actually google ” if you googled this you’re crazy.” But you’re not the most crazy. Here are the most craziest things  people have googled.

  1. Can I Eat My Cat
  2. Why isn’t 11 pronounced Onety One
  3. Why Can’t I poop
  4. Why I always fart
  5. Why can’t I own a Canadian

So congratulations. You are not one of the craziest googlers out there. Oh no, you’re just a chill occasional googler. That’s you — just a classy laid back super chill googler person.

But check this: Have you ever typed Google into Google before? No? That shit’s the best, man. Especially if you don’t know if I’m talking to you or are you talking to me.

Let’s pause, and let that sink in.

Crazy, huh?

Yes, I’m thinking that you might be that person. That person that sat down at a keyboard just a few minutes ago. You lifted your fingers like a concert pianist and  you googled “If you googled this you’re crazy.”

And here you are.


Featured image by: Niharb — Flickr.