You got lucky last night. Now for the morning-after breakfast
Let’s be frank; something ever guy needs in his arsenal is a decent breakfast entrée to whip out for the ladies on those blessed mornings after getting lucky. A short stack of flapjacks? A bit feminine; in a situation like this, you of course want to come across as an alpha male. Burritos? Those can get messy. Bad idea if you want to make a classy first impression. A fried egg sandwich, though? Now you’re talking. Today I’m going to help you put together the ultimate AM spread, something decadent enough to cure both of your hangovers.
In addition to the breakfast sandwich, we’re going to toss together a fried potato hash and cold-brewed coffee, a true SoCal staple.
I suggest presenting this meal with a seasonal fruit salad, as well. That part is totally optional, but when you think about it, so is making any other part of this recipe. I digress. On to the first task.
The coffee technically requires twenty-four hours to prepare, which isn’t exactly ideal in terms of spontaneity, but absolutely needs to be included regardless because it pairs with the rest like a four-hundred dollar bottle of wine. Fill up two mason jars with cold, filtered water. Add two tablespoons of coarsely-ground coffee grounds and give them both a good shake. Stick them in the fridge overnight. Boom. We’re one-third of the way there already.
To prepare the hash, dice up an onion, a red pepper, and one large russet potato. Set some oil and a pat of butter over a medium-low flame. While that heats up, microwave the potato chunks for a few minutes to give yourself a little head-start. Sauté the onion and pepper with a bit of salt and pepper. When they are brown to your liking, add the potatoes and more salt. As they really start to get going, use your spoon or spatula to squish everything down to achieve that ever-so-desirable crispiness factor. Once you feel adequately satisfied with your work, you’re ready to move on to the main course.
Melt some butter over a low flame and crack in two eggs once it’s hot. The key here is letting the eggs cook slowly; that’s the big secret, and being generous with your lubrication is going to help a lot with that. Poke at the edges with your spatula just to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom. When the whites are no longer translucent, gently flip the egg pancake and let it finish cooking through. Take extra care not to break the yolk, as whole ones really contribute to final presentation in a big way.
For bread, you can literally use anything. Bagels and croissants work particularly well in my experience, though, as they’re more able to accommodate a fully decked-out sandwich. I love eating this with sliced tomato, avocado, and a squirt of Sriracha sauce. Do a cold coffee pour-over through a sieve, adding cream and sugar if desired.
You Pulled It Off
This is a great breakfast to make in general, and it’s guaranteed to trick any date into believing you actually have your shit together as an adult. Women love men who can cook, and a meal like this is something anybody can get into. Whip this up next time you wake up still on a date. It’ll be just the thing to make the panties drop all over again.