Deep Down Inside: What Sex is Like on Almost Every Recreational Drug
Sex and drugs. The words are synonymous with each other. Why is this? What makes having sex under the influence so alluring to people? Well, easy explanation. Most of us were raised to believe those two things can be bad, if not put in check. Sex and drugs are taboo, therefore, like a child being denied a rocket pop at an ice cream truck on a hot, summer day, we just want it that much more.
As soon as something is deemed taboo, the allure of said ideal multiplies tenfold. I can speak only for myself when I say I longed to have sex on as many drugs as I could just to see how different it was from sober sex, and pulled it off, with most of my internal questions being answered through the experience. Do certain drugs enhance the intimacy? Do some drugs take away that desire, even whilst it is happening? Are there drugs that make sex wholly unpleasant? I know it seems like an odd thing to seek out, but when you are a writer for a living trying to reach the masses, it makes the perfect fuel for an article.
And I do all this weird shit so you all don’t have to. Think of me as a giant guinea pig who has a way with words.In this case, I have fucked on almost every drug out there, and thought I would take a moment to fill you in on what sex on each of these (mostly illegal) substances.
Keep in mind, my doctor was made aware of the study, solely because I slept with one of his nurses who ended up coming clean, literally. Messy Tessy I call her. He wished me good luck and then prescribed me antibiotics because, well, you know, Messy Tessy.
Now onto what it is like to have sex on as many drugs as possible.
Sex on Marijuana
This one is kind of a mulligan. What I mean by that is, reasonably, anyone reading this site has probably had sex after smoking weed at one point in their life. I will delve a little bit, regardless.
Having sex while stoned is like having sex but being 30% closer and more intimate with the person you are screwing.
The difference is very slight for long term users, but people new to the cannabis subculture love sex while stoned, as it just makes it feel more ethereal.
But this is grade school shit, moving on…..
Sex on Ambien
Who would’ve ever thought the two would go together? A powerful sleeping pill and the act of coitus. Certainly not I, but after 4 years of use (am two years off it now) I can tell you, Ambien sex is up there for awesome experiences, albeit a bit scary at times.
Awesome because the pill genuinely makes you lose your inhibitions. Scary because you are usually in a semi-blacked-out state, and that has lead people to have some seriously scary stories about the stuff, like waking up in the middle thinking they were getting raped.
That, alone, should scare anyone away from it, but you can look up Ambien and sex to see just how many people have discovered how weirdly out-of-body and satisfying it can truly be.
Hell, one of Tiger Wood’s side hoes swears by the stuff.
And technically, you could probably talk your doctor into giving you these by the end of the week if you felt so inclined.
Sex on Speed
There are two schools of thought on this one. A LOT of people would tell you fucking on speed is great because you sort of feel numb from the waste down, meaning a man can go for hours in most cases. Some guys like this (assumedly because they must be one-minute-men) but for me, as a man, sex on speed would always end up feeling like work by the end.
At first, you will be pounding and your heart is racing and it is almost animalistic, but three hours into it you are just half-expecting your heart to give out and are pretty sure your orgasm is still three hours away.
Like I said, though, some people will swear by it. I don’t have any problem with premature ejaculation though, so for me, this one is a throw away. I can have two hour sex without the gray skin and a heart attack, so I am not as fanatical about this entry as some of the others.
Sex on LSD
This is where some jaws are going to drop and the real reason I wrote the article. Sex on LSD, if you are connected and on the same level as the person you are with, is as good and intense and as spiritual as sex can get, straight up. I know, shocked me, too!
“But wait Remy, we figured LSD would be the SCARIEST, making the female genitalia look more like a Lovecraftian creature than something one would willingly put themselves inside of?!”
I respect that stance but such is not the case. The truth is, if that fear has kept people from having sex while tripping balls and vulva, they have missed out on a wholly unique, Godly, and all-encompassing sexual experience.
It’s that “look into each other’s eyes and fall into their soul” kinda shit.
Don’t get me wrong, NOT GOOD for one night stands or random hookups, but in a sexual relationship with the right person and with the right vibe, NOTHING beats sex while tripping.
It’s limitless sex in outer space with no rules. What beats that?
Sex on “Pills”
Considering now Oxycontin, Percocet, and Xanax are America’s new breakfast, I felt like addressing pill sex as its own genre, though many pills have different outcomes (emphasis on the comes), the overall vibe of pill sex is, well, pill sex.
It is kind of lifeless and automated, like you are going through the motions, but often, your mind is somewhere else.
Now granted, anxiety pills like Xanax can help someone lose some inhibitions, leading to better sex, but they can also can kill you relatively easily, as you know from my experience a few months back, so sex on pills and pills in general might be a route that is best avoided for now.
And any long term exposure to most pills that are prescribed these days (like antidepressants) can seriously alter sex drive and ability to get aroused, so be careful how deep you go down THIS rabbit hole, or you won’t be going very deep for very long, literally.
Sex on Syrup
I’m sorry, I had to. Not because I think any of you will get your hands on syrup but because what are the chances some dude who grew up in the burbs ever drank some lean and fucked? Pretty slim, right, but I did.
And not just any lean, a major Massachusetts senator’s daughter’s lean. This girl would get liquid Codeine before the shit was even well known (and yes, it tastes just like grape juice, which makes swigging it VERY easy) and we would carry around the bottle and just hit it. How the fuck I am still alive when I was doing shit like that at 16 years old is beyond me, but I am alive, I think.
Anyway, fucking on syrup was fun, but lost it’s fun halfway through (as I lost my erection).
Codeine is a painkiller, so as you can imagine, fucking on a painkiller is pretty fun until you fall asleep mid-boink, cock still half inside.
Now that is just ugly.
Sex on Cocaine
Some may wonder why cocaine is listed by itself when I already listed speed. Realize, speed and coke may share similar end results and chemical makeups, but cocaine is its own unique fuck. Truth is, in the 70’s and 80’s, coke WAS the fuck drug. Coke was the drug you would take specifically for a one-night-stand with a stranger or a wife-swap. Real talk. It gave you bravado and would make you last longer and you feel like an actual animal when you’re fucking on coke, which is pretty sweet because sex is, after all, a primal activity.
For me, the same problem presents itself that does with speed. Sometimes you just feel like your skin is gray and you are sweating out.
But man, the rumor you fuck like jackrabbits while on cocaine is no rumor. You certainly do. Only problem is, even the funnest activity is not as fun after three straight hours.
Sex on Mushrooms
I could say refer to the LSD section, but I want to expand a little further. Although often, a trip from LSD will last longer than shrooms and often can be more powerful depending on dosage, there can be minor differences worth noting.
One, some people will just NOT fuck around with lab made LSD but have no trouble taking ‘Mushrooms because “shrooms are from the earth, man.” Yeah, so is hemlock, you fucktard, so that logic makes no sense and you need to let it go.
But those people do exist, and there can be a slightly deeper, more natural sexual connection here than on LSD.
But speaking only for myself, LSD beat out Shroom sex but just by a few degrees (of literal passion).
But overall, sex while tripping with the right person can be one of the most soul-satisfying things a human being can experience, not even kidding.
I literally feel sorrow for the people too scared to ever try and who end up missing out. This life is short and ugly, WE need to do shit like this to make it more livable.
Sex on MDMA/Molly/Ecstasy
This one is going to fuck you all up because people have hugely mixed expectations and misinformation about this drug. Can you have sex on ecstasy and is it, well, ecstasy? Yes and no. Let me push in a little deeper here to explain.
When you are on ecstasy, MDMA, Molly, all your nerve endings come alive and become extra sensitive. You can almost FEEL music, and this goes tenfold for any physical interaction. Hell, someone can give you a backrub while you are rolling and you will start moaning like you are getting the best sex of your life. Even someone running their hands through your hair on MDMA is something else, but, in this writer’s opinion (and most people who have dabbled in these same areas of expertise agree), on ecstasy, the sex sort of ends up acting like an exclamation point and it feels like it kinda brings the ‘roll’ to a close.
Yes, it can be mind-bendingly amazing, but I honestly feel like ecstasy is better for all the foreplay. The actual act is great, but doing the foreplay stuff (even just rubbing someone’s arms) can be practically orgasm inducing, so stick with that side of things and the night will last much longer and be that much more fulfilling.
Just try to stay away from Ecstasy and stick to Molly (pure MDMA). With ecstasy you never know what was put into that pill and the last thing you want to do is O.D on rat poison while inside someone who is also O.D’ing from rat poison.
No thanks, moving on to one final, drugged out sex session….
Sex on Viagra
Ah, now we tread where the FDA want, taking their weird, legal shit and helping the world’s biggest drug dealer keep its pockets fat. I will be honest, fuck that. I bought my Viagra from a street dealer (suck it, I am a fucking outlaw) and I will not feed the machine that is killing more people than anyone else right now.
But I will tell you what fucking on Viagra is like for someone who doesn’t require it.
It is actually kind of fun.
You see, I always thought the little blue pill was a boner pill. It isn’t (or at least wasn’t for me). It was more like ecstasy, where I found myself feeling very horny and aroused. I had assumed Viagra would just give me a ridgebone (what I call my hardest erection), but it actually made me want to put on some Prince and eat that p*ssy. Hey, just keeping it real.
And the fuck itself was decent, good lasting power and kind of unique.
Just be prepared to bug out when one or two things potentially happens after:
- Everything turns blue (literally, visual hallucinations that everything is the EXACT same color of the little girl who turned blue in Willy Wonka).
- You pee is a little blue.
As long as you are good with those two potential side-effects, ask your doctor today. They love prescribing shit.
As for the other drugs on the list, something tells me you know the right people if you read this far. Make some calls, have some inebriated sex, but do so with caution.
These are still drugs, after all.
Featured image by Rob Lee: Flickr.