Is 2017 the Year of Casual Sex?
It’s weird to think about, but based on statistics, some of our parents went to key parties in the 70’s. If you don’t know what a key party is, it is when a bunch of swinging couples would get together, drop all their car keys into a fishbowl, and whatever key the woman fished out was the man she went home with for the night. Fucked up shit, yeah, but is it? When we live in a society where more people cheat than don’t, we need to look at what we are doing, assess if it’s working for us, and evolve or move on. That is where we are at in society right now, sexually.
People are slowly waking up to the fact that relationships are hard work that is constant, and what is the payoff? Someone to have dinner with and MAYBE die with? Well, no. The payoff is sex. So if everyone wants to fuck and everyone enjoys fucking, and that same everybody is exhausted by the trials and tribulations of their relationships, what is wrong with two (or three, or five) consensual adults agreeing to fuck without any of the drama or social stigma attached?
Nothing, nothing is wrong with it, which is exactly why the “hook up” is at its highest rate in years. We have finally figured out, we just want someone to fuck and maybe watch some Netflix with sometimes. In other words, whether you like it or not, we are on the doorstep of the next sexual revolution, which is dope because we haven’t had once since AIDS appeared. Well, a decline in that and in increase in drama, as well as an abundance of social media platforms and apps that make hooking up extremely effortless, welcome to 2017 and the true embracing of the fuck buddy and the no-strings-attached ideal.
Hell, it just might save us.
Old Schoolers Will Always Be Old Schoolers
First off, just because we are in the midst of an awesome sexual revolution and you can realistically sleep with almost anyone you want to, there will always be old schoolers. People who want to set roots deep in the earth and wrap said roots around someone else’s roots. There is nothing wrong with that, if that is what you desire. Having a family and a committed relationship is something that very many people find rewarding.
It should also be said, many people also find those two things emotionally draining and exhausting in every way but rarely share that out loud as it is very taboo to declare such things.
But yeah, childbearing and marriages will never fully vanish. I just genuinely believe more and more adults will realize how futile relationships are and embrace a life less regimented and restricted. You know you can still fall in love with a fuck buddy, right? Granted, they will probably bounce, but don’t mistake this as love suddenly being outlawed, as that is not the case and never will be.
Some of us just want to fuck, some of you just want to family. Do your thing and respect us and we will do the same.
In 2017, Most Relationships Are Inherently Broken or Struggling
Listen, most of us were raised by baby boomers who pretty much ruined everything ever. From our environment to the housing market to sex itself. They are also the demographic that had the biggest increase in the divorce rate in the smallest amount of time (we are officially at one out of every two marriages ending in divorce, and that’s not okay) so it is not like most of us saw the healthiest examples of love growing up. I genuinely believe we do not know how to do it. We hate ourselves secretly, and how can we love anything else when we have been reared to hate ourselves so much?
Add to that trying to hold someone else up and meet their needs at all time while still meeting your own and you realize how fucking devastating it is. You get insomnia. Your hair goes gray. You start getting self doubt as they hug and kiss and oral you less and less. How is that fun for anyone? It is like being in a mental boxing match, 24 hours a day, and all you are trying to do is keep standing.
But you know what comes with none of that shit? Fuck buddies and no strings attached sex, y’all.
Wake up, break up, and feed your loins.
Or lions if you’re dyslexic and into exotic pets.
A great deal has changed in the last 25 years regarding relationships and sex. When I was younger, we still asked girls out and went on dates and then just kind of paired off. Coupling, I believe it was called. But then something happened in the early 2000’s that changed everything. It was called MySpace. Laugh all you want but Facebook and Tinder would not exist had Tom not befriended us all beforehand. That was the first time people could truly talk and get to know one another MINUS the expensive, dating bullshit. This often lead to direct hookups. You got all the small talk out of the way, so when you met up, it was ‘time for some, time for some action’. And people got cooler and cooler with that.
Because one party was not using the other. One party was not manipulating the other. They wanted the same thing and got it and all was well with the world. That slowly evolved into apps and more and more sites for dating (ChristianMingle is where all the freakiest hoes are at) and this created a general atmosphere where the “hook up” slowly lost the negative stigma it once had attached to it. No one cared if it was shallow. People were getting off without having to get in fights or argue over which restaurant to eat at.
Here is the thing: we all like to fuck. We really do. Men love to fuck and women fuck to love. It is how we work, but even then, there is divine serendipity. Despite the end result, we ALL want to fuck, and we have collectively realized there is NOTHING wrong with that desire or feeding it, and you don’t have to be committed to do so.
Fucking huzzah to that shit!
Netflix and Chill
To anyone who thinks I am off or inaccurate, we have a term for the direct hookup now. Three words when said in a particular order that send a very clear message. Netflix and chill. It means “do you wanna come over, put on Netflix and have sex.” That is it. Sorry I didn’t make it flowery, but that is because it doesn’t fucking have to be. That is the whole point of the fuck buddy and the hook up. No fucking drama. None. When was the last time you heard “walk of shame”? You don’t anymore because it is not shameful anymore. I straight high five fuckers I see doing that morning walk with hair all fucked up and same clothes from the night before. There is NO shame in that. There is more shame in getting a mini-van and taking your soul-sucking kids to soccer practice, you sheep. When was the last time you did something for YOU? Yeah, thought so.
The only time shit gets static with fuck buddies is when one party catches feelings (which can happen). But set some boundaries beforehand. Let him or her know exactly what this is to you in as inoffensive a manner as possible and then go about your business, if your business is fucking. Hell, have them sign one of these, have it in print.
If “Netflix and chill” doesn’t sum up the fact that we are in a sexual revolution to you, that just probably means you are reading this while married and are riddled with guilt because all you want to do is fuck without any of the blah blah or pillow talk, but you can’t.
Well, you made your bed, now lie in it with your significant other in utter silence wondering why you don’t fuck anymore.
Yeah, THAT seems healthy.
Fuck Who You Want and Answer To No One
The craziest part in all this is love still very much can bloom from this. A sexual revolution does not mean people can’t fall in love. It simply means people CAN fuck, that is all. If you are not comfortable enough in yourself or with that idea, that does not reflect poorly on you at all. We are all different beasts. BUT, don’t pretend you don’t like a good fuck, because 98% of all human beings do.
It’s just nice to see people finally stepping up and declaring and embracing that.
Now who wants to fuck?
Featured image by diadà: Flickr.