Social Experiment: How to make abortion illegal in America

Just picture it– all of you self-righteous blowhards who feel morally obligated to interfere with the lives of others based on your own interpretation of thousand year old religious texts- what if the bane of your perfect white picket fence existence, the legal right to abortion, was no longer a real thing? Wouldn’t that just be swell?

Maybe it could be a reality.

Mind you we’d all have to agree to make some significant changes, ones that may feel a little brutal and socialist at the onset but will ultimately deliver the end result that will keep quiet the mouths of those among us who wouldn’t dare raise unwanted offspring, but surely are concerned that they are alive to be impoverished and eventually imprisoned.

I have an idea on how we could implement such a Utopian society in my country and I wonder if in the future, progeny will take these steps and thank me for bringing them to light… no not thank me, worship me- we tend to do that when we find words written thousands of years before we existed…anyway…

I’m confident that like with every other single article that I have ever posted on this site that you are not going to like what I have to say. If you want to wail in the comments and mock my suggestions you are free to do so, just know, that I couldn’t care less- that’s not how opinion or growth works- it’s not based on whether you LIKE it and it’s often painful if you are overly sensitive. These suggestions that I am about to make about this topic are going to make you uncomfortable period, but imagine how uncomfortable it makes me feel to be forced to do what someone outside of my body wants me to do every single day of my life in this country because they think that I am too stupid or ‘hysterical’ to know how to take care of myself…. Ah, you can’t.

So if we want to make abortions illegal in America and eventually the world, we can follow the steps outlined here and worry about it no more…

When American born males are 18 and go to get an adult state ID or a Driver’s license as well as when foreign born males become American citizens and get the same documentation, they must be asked a very straightforward question- if they would like to be a father. Refusal to answer will make them undocumented and therefore subject to imprisonment. If the foreign born male is a father already it doesn’t change the fact that they must answer with regards to all future born humans. They must be asked this question at every license renewal unless they opt for an irreversible vasectomy the first time they are asked.

This question applies to all males regardless of how they identify.
If the males say, I do not want to be a father, then their driver’s license becomes green. The entire card becomes an undeniably florescent green that cannot be faked and is easily recognizable regardless of the time of day. This answer, like all of the other answers required to receive this identification document, is on file with the state and even if the license is lost, it can be called upon in the event this decision ever comes into question in a court of law. Since the male who has opted out of fatherhood is over 18, he should be allowed to immediately remedy the possibility by getting a free or very low cost vasectomy, paid for by private insurance or state funds, in a clinic right next door to the license branch. Get er’ done, buddy.

If the males say, I would like to be a father, then their driver’s license becomes blue. A blue that can be seen in the dark, in a nightclub, underwater and from a distance. This man will have been able to provide in order to get a blue ID confirmation, proof of income or financial assets, a home that could sustain a child and no history of crimes against women or children. He’d have to pass a psych evaluation to ensure his mental state as well.

Men who at ID renewal want to change their ID from green to blue would have to prove that they did not have a vasectomy, provide all of the prerequisites for a blue license and also be required before their license could be changed- 10 hours of community service and 24 hours of fatherhood classes. No one under 18 can have a blue license. Their license would be yellow which from a distance is proof that this is a child.

The crime of fake identification would carry 10 years, easily, for everyone involved because this question and document now are the catalyst of preventing abortions in our country. The crime of rape would become a capital crime, punishable by 50 years hard labor for the convicted that begins with 90 days of solitary confinement. If a child is born because of a rape that child should immediately receive any social security benefits that would have previously benefited the criminal until funds are exhausted as well as a free college education, inclusive of tuition and board in the state where they were born. Rape would be the only instance in this version of America however where abortion would be decriminalized and no penalties placed on the mother whatsoever.

Once these rules have been established and enforced, abortion could easily become illegal. You cannot have an abortion if you voluntarily fucked a male with a yellow ID. Sorry. Still, it is no longer a negative stigma on the women who haphazardly choose partners- it becomes an empowering stance to let them choose upfront and outright if motherhood is a part of their life agenda. And motherhood does not mean that you belong to this man by any means, it means that the child does. The couple could decide to intertwine their lives, get married, live together or not but regardless of what the mother decides to do with herself, that child has a loving home, ready and waiting.

So if a lady goes on a date with a guy, she should be able to make a decision about how far this relationship will proceed by simply asking her suitor for some identification. If he does not have an ID, there is no date to be had, call the fucking cops. If he has a green ID and you want to be someone’s mom in the future, there is no reason for you to date this man, period. I don’t care how fine he is- if he can’t ultimately give you a child and you know that you might want one eventually, no one’s time is wasted. Or if you like him and you decide having him is worth more than having a tiny him to raise for the rest of your life, then love him intensely, no harm, no foul.

Same is true in the reverse. If a lady meets a guy and she has no intention of becoming a mother and he has a blue ID- the relationship must under the law come to a halt. If she continues to see this man, using all available contraception outside of having her tubes tied and ends up pregnant, she cannot have an abortion. The reason for this is because she chose to sleep with a person who has identified himself to the government as someone who wants to be a father. She did not have to fuck him at all. So since she did, she will carry the child to term and if she does not want to be in a relationship with the man any further, relinquish full custody to the father who self-identified as wanting to be a parent.

Asking to see an ID would become the same common place event as asking if your partner was carrying protection. And because the cards are color coded, you wouldn’t necessarily have to look at it closely and memorize all of the dude’s details, you just need to know if it is green or blue or yellow and decide accordingly.

Any man with a blue ID is telling the world that he is fully capable and able to raise children and is looking forward to doing so.  This would minimize sexual congress between people who do not have the same intent when it comes to parenthood.

People would have to stop shaming females and calling them whores if they get pregnant out of wedlock because they got pregnant with someone who said at the onset of the relationship that if a child were the outcome, he was still 100% all in for that.  If a child is born but the willing father dies that child should immediately receive any social security benefits that would have previously benefited the dead father until funds are exhausted as well as a free college education, inclusive of tuition and board in the state where they were born. Simple.

But to put something into practice like this means that we’d have to make a significant cultural shift in America. We’d have to say that we are our fathers and stop blaming everything on mom. Our mothers carry and nurture us but our fathers are the seeds from which we came. All the songs and stories and movies about absent fathers would become a thing of the past. “Daddy Issues” would be something that you’d have to look up in an online encyclopedia. Fathers would be seen as what they actually are- farmers, out planting seeds all over the glistening water ball. And women who decided to become mothers would be seen as what they are, healthy soil in which to plant seeds that can be grown. Women could easily control whether or not they were breeders by choosing the right men without much conversation or any lying. Ignoring the facts would not allow them to ignore the law. Who would risk an unprotected drunk hookup with a total stranger when it only takes 3 seconds to review his ID color? No ID, No punanny, period.

It’s not called Mother EARTH for nothing.  It is not up to the fertile ground to determine what a seed that is planted will become, the earth just grows whatever it is given. So women would have the power to decide what they would like to receive right out of the gate. Crime would probably decrease significantly, low dependence on government assistance would probably be a side effect as well as a whole lot of people who were loved and wanted going to college to solve issues that plague mankind as a whole. Women would not be looked down upon anymore by having children by multiple fathers either in this utopia because unless the father dies, they would never be doing the job of parenting on their own and therefore we’d no longer need many abortions, except in the instance of the odd psychopath who has power and impulse control problems. (And if that characteristic is genetic, it would die out eventually…)

At my age, and knowing full well that I have no desire (and also an inability) to continue to procreate, I could only swipe right on Tinder or profiles where the man has already indicated that his ID is green. Simple.

But we don’t live in a country where men actually have to be responsible for anything, even though we let them run everything. There is a tax on tampons but you can get Viagra as a part of your medical insurance. Men are allowed to forget anniversaries, birthdays and where they live, and fuck as many women as they so choose and impregnate them without a second thought until they are old and gray while being regaled with high fives and stupid comments like, he’s just a man, he’s visual, he doesn’t know any better, god love him… While women are felt sorry for and admonished (you’re a slut, you should have waited for a ring blah blah blah).  In the current climate if a woman falls in love with a man, unintentionally gets pregnant by him, and soon realizes fatherhood was not on his agenda- if motherhood was not on hers, she still has to be saddled with a child from a man who did not love her, whether she can afford it or not, or someone who isn’t her and probably a very religious, will lose his/her fucking shit if the new mom of the unwanted tried to terminate the precious life growing within, just to keep her sanity.

I told you that you wouldn’t like what I had to say but what makes you like it even less is that it would probably work although it sounds terribly communist. Do you want to be self-righteous or do you want results?  So if you are adamant about people being unable to have abortions in our country and in our world, then make “fuck and run” as ancient a concept as the Dead Sea Scrolls are as ancient a thing.

Or you could mind your fucking business. That too, is already a viable choice.

Featured image by UCI UC Irvine — Flickr.