LSD and New Years, 2016

I knew I wanted New Year’s Eve into 2016 to be something special. I am getting older, and life feels like it gets duller and duller every year. Just more stupid adult tasks stacked on top of stupid adult tasks. The fun is all but sucked out of adulthood, but that is only because we allow it. In this case, I was rejecting that notion. What would be fun as hell, possibly recapture my youth a bit (spiritually, at least), and start 2016 off with a bang?

Tripping balls on some LSD.

And as if that alone wasn’t enough, I decided to ask the girl I have been dating if she wanted to take the trip with me. I filled her in on all aspects of hallucinogens (as I am a well versed psychonaut), let her know the ups and downs, showed her some documentaries, and let her some to the conclusion on her own. She had never tripped, and I put no pressure on her. Just gave her facts. Her conclusion was yes, so began our New Year’s Eve 2016 LSD ride from hell (but not really).

First of all, LSD was from a trusted source and known to be clean as a whistle (dirty LSD can be made from kitchen supplies and will send you straight to hell). Next up, vibe and energy were established. As silly as it sounds, this stuff matters. Having some trippy movies and music on deck. Hanging some Christmas lights to add to the “scenic trippy coffee shop in Paris” vibe I was going for.

She and I sat and ate a little something first (as I was well aware hungry would be the last thing we felt in the next 8 hours) and just got the energy in my place perfect. People joke about the “right vibe” for a trip, and this is very much a real thing. Everyone needs to be on the same page going into it, and you want to be sure everyone is mellow and excited. You SHOULD be a little nervous, but the nerves part should be less significant than the excited part.

“Fuck it, let’s do this,” she said, and snatched one, immediately popping it onto her tongue where it would sit for the next 30 seconds or so.”

“So you ready to leave this universe for a bit?” I asked her, holding the two tabs of white blotter in my hand, one extended towards her. “ Fuck it, let’s do this” she said and snatched one, immediately popping it onto her tongue where it would sit for the next 30 seconds or so. I took my tab and got a rush. I knew this night was gonna be something. At that point, I just had no idea what, but DEFINITELY something.

We began the trip by watching the amazing show, Rick and Morty. I cannot emphasize enough how brilliant of an idea this was. Colorful, funny, and, well, trippy as hell, it started us off right.

BUT we were eager beavers and we were not quite where we needed to go yet, so we went back into the other room and each ate one more. If I had to pinpoint the moment in the night where we made a horrible decision, that was it.

So far, she is loving this shit. Cracking up, we are laughing non-stop because she is trying to form sentences but her brain is moving too fast so by the time they reach her mouth, they make little sense. At one point we roll ourselves together pretending to form ourselves into one giant, new, Voltron of humans. It is everything you are told NOT to do as an adult, and we are truly enjoying every bit of marrow we are squeezing out of life at this moment. I look over at her and I asked: wanna watch Yellow Submarine? She nods vigorously, smiling wide.

Quick note for those who don’t know: Yellow Submarine (Beatles animated movie) IS the trippiest thing ever made and is an absolute JOY to watch while on any kind of chemical–LSD more than any other. The colors pop and the music fills your ears like magic. Alas, even magic sometimes hides dirty secrets.

“NO warning at all, just vomit spraying everywhere like a broken fire hose.”

“This is unreal, huh?” I look to her and her face is suddenly VERY pale. What happens next, neither of us saw coming and neither of us will ever forget. She looks at me scared,  suddenly turns her head and starts vomiting like a wild animal. NO warning at all, just vomit spraying everywhere like a broken fire hose. Keep in mind, this is not at ALL a side effect of LSD, which is bugging me out even more.

She is holding one finger over her mouth as if that will suddenly stop the flow of vomit launching from her face. I immediately think of the movie The Exorcist and I am all fucked up, but not so much that I am not helping her and leading her to the bathroom. In said bathroom, she continues to vomit, for longer than I think is possible. Now puking is very rarely a part of LSD consumption as I stated prior, but ego death is, and that sometimes means the shedding of the former self (and/or demons). I am sitting outside the bathroom, suddenly having the worst trip of my entire life (and I smashed my face through a windshield once tripping, so this is saying a lot), hugging my legs with my arms, rocking, repeating to her over and over: “Don’t worry, this is normal, you will be fine.”

“My mind starts taking me to really dark places. Places you don’t want to go when you are tripping.”

Meanwhile, it wasn’t really that normal to me because I was tripping my face off and was pretty sure I just somehow poisoned someone I really care about. My mind starts taking me to really dark places. Places you don’t want to go when you are tripping.

Suddenly, she crawls out of the bathroom on all fours, vomit in her hair and eyes glossy, and she looks up at me with all her effort and is like: This is SO FUCKING BADASS! I have always wanted to know what it would feel like to be a 70’s rockstar, crawling in puddles of their own vomit. I have never been this cool.

Then she crawled back into the bathroom and, get this, was vomiting and laughing at same time. Yes, it is as scary as it sounds, but I was blown away by the fact that she did, in fact, display the most blatantly rock star persona I had ever seen in my life (and I have partied with actual rock stars). Sure, it was a little Exorcist, too, but I ignored that aspect.

Had that been my first trip, I would thought I was dying and probably woulda been crying between all the violent vomiting. She, on the other hand, was living a dream and she knew it. Holy shit, I thought to myself. This is the coolest woman I have ever met.

The truth is, we had just been impatient (and me as the shaman should have known better) so we overdid it. She was just way overstimulated, and after a few hours of puking out everything she ever ate, she was as good as gold. I, on the other hand, was not only more smitten but was also more shaken. Like, did I just fuck this girl up? Was she just saying she was okay so I felt less guilty about giving her this?

We popped a couple Xanax and laid down to ease out of the trip (benzos are key for that) and just kinda laughed about it. I was sure she was all set, and I completely understood and respected that. She got the rock star experience she wanted, and we are 100% back to okay.

“And it was at that point that I knew this chick had to be my soulmate.”

So it is the next day, we rested a wee bit in between, and she is packing up and getting ready to leave and she looks at me and says: “Man, we gotta do that again. Hopefully I got all the puking out of the way this time.” And it was at that point I knew this chick had to be my soulmate. Either that or we were both doomed to live a short, fun, tragic life together. At that point, I was okay with both. Still am, as a matter of fact.

So the next time you think you are hardcore, the next time you think you are the hardest partier on earth who cannot be stopped, ask yourself: Am I as hardcore as the girl who laughed through her vomit soaked first LSD trip? Honestly, probably not. That was the most hardcore shit I’ve ever seen, and I saw a guy drop liquid LSD directly onto his eyeballs on more than one occasion.

Suffice it to say, she’s been mine ever since that night. And don’t let this scare you away from tripping. Neither of us would have traded that night for anything in the world. Best New Year’s ever.